ICSI: Our Second

A month after our first IVF/ICSI cycle, we tried for a fresh cycle.  Hopes were up again and we have nothing to lose.  Our gyne suggested we start with a higher dosage Puregon because I did not react right away with our previous cycle.  As patients, you trust your doctor's competence in his/her field.  She studied for it and know that she will take good care of you as a person and make sure nothing fatal will happen to you.  It is how it goes everywhere.

I reacted well with the medicine but way too well.  I was swollen, I gained >6kg in days time, I had difficulty urinating and my lower abdomen is swollen and painful.  Yes, I had an ovarian hyperstimulated syndrome (OHSS).  Too many follicles growing in varius sizes which the doctor advised to stop with the treatment for five days and guaranteed us that the follicles that were mature enough for aspiration will stay the same.  They aspirated 6 eggcells of which 5 were fertilized and out that 3 developed further.  They decided that they will do the transfer on the third day

We had a good looking embryo according to the Dutch doctor at the university hospital.  We were told that a 3 day embryo has the same equal chance of surviving and implanting in the uterus as a five day old embryo.  That was a relief for us.

So then again, I was clinically pregnant.  The doctor advised me to stay home dating from the pick-up of the eggcells until the first HCG blood test.  This time, in contrary with our last cycle, I did not have any lower abdominal cramps at all.  We supposed that was a good sign.  

I know I wasn't suppose to do any HPT before the first blood test but waiting is really not my best asset.  I bought five tests and I tested each day before the blood test.  All tests came negative, no slightly or blury second pink line.  Each day I was devastated and it was probably the five most exasperating moments in my fiance's life but he showed empathy towards me and told me we should not get our hopes down yet.

The blood test came negative and we felt lost for a while.  To worsen it all, the last two remaining embryos stopped developing and we don't know why.  I contacted the fertility consulent again and told her I would want to make an appointment with the doctor because it is our hearts' desire to talk to her about the whole cycle, where it went wrong and what their future plan is for us.  She replied telling us, send all your questions to us and we will relay it with the doctor and we will relay all her answers to you.  When she said that I just got furious!  How dare she to not give us the right to speak to our own doctor personally!  She eventually gave in and gave us an appointment.