6 More Weeks To Go

The holiday season is here and starting now it'll go by really fast.  I guess like most moms, I'm so excited to see our baby.  To finally get to hold it and shower it with love but on top of that, my tummy is getting really big and heavy.  I waddle like duck when I go out for a short walk and my back hurts a lot as well.

So what's up with us? Nothing much really.  Our child's great grandfather bought her/him an Aerosleep mattress.  It is not just your ordinary foam mattress but, it is designed to be breathable and safe for baby.  That means that the chance of SIDS is minimal!  The mattress comes with a washable breathable mattress protector.  In addition to that, his/her great grandfather bought a compatible mattress cover as well.

Yes the mattress itself costs €159 euro already!  I know there are cheaper alternatives to that, like buying a complete set of cot or getting a cheaper mattress or worse let the baby sleep in her/his parents' bed so you don't have to spend on anything (lol).  However, I think it is OUR personal choice.  For others having baby might be as easy as changing clothes but it is not like that for us.

I don't think our child is not worth to have what's best for it just because others see other people not caring where their child would sleep.

Anyway bompa (great grandfather) said that because he bought the same gift for Elias, there is no reason for him not to buy our child the same thing.  

We are more than thankful for the gift.

29 Weeks Along

We are now 29 weeks along and by far I'm having a "healthier" diet to stabilize the sugar level in my blood.  That being said means that I am not only eating three times a day but almost every hour to prevent a drastic drop of bloodsugar in my body.  My meals would usually consist of: two slices of 10 grained-brown bread with strawberry jam or meusli with dried fruits and a yogurt to mix it with. A piece of fruit an hour later and maybe a fiber-rich cookie depending on how low my bloodsugar is. Then there's lunch that is either a cold pasta salad with veggies, smoked salmon and shrimps or just a regular sandwich with a homemade chocolate paste and then something light in between to bridge dinner which usually consists of a portion of meat, carbohydrates and veggies and a yogurt or a glass of chocolate milk just before we go to sleep.

Yup, I eat more now! Before, my first meal wouldn't start until 2pm and that'd be mostly a piece of toblerone to keep my sugar level high again. O.o I'm just so used of eating a meal a day because I hate eating alone.  But this baby changed all of that because I want him/her to be as healthy as possible.

On a different matter, we went for our third 3D ultrasound but we didn't get to see much of our little Eskimo.  He/she was all curled up like a ball! Uhuh, both its legs were up its head. Most amazing thing was it seemed like it was sleeping comfortably that way because I tried moving up, down and sideways but it could not be bothered at all.  We saw it yawning, kicking back the ultrasound, lots of hair, baby love handles and yes it is still the same baby as it was during our previous ultrasounds but with more body fat that fills the cheeks and everywhere else.

So, 11 more weeks to go and we'll finally be able to hold you!

29 weeks 

29 weeks

26 weeks Gestational Diabetes

On our 24th week, I had to do a glucose test as an S.O.P.  The week there after the hospital called to inform me that I have to do another glucose test because the first test turned out to be positive.

First test

It was complicated. I only had to drink a glucose syrup and wait for an hour.  I was advised not to walk around though.   An hour later the nurse took some blood sample and I was allowed to go home.

Second test

I was not allowed to eat anymore from midnight but I was allowed to drink water.  They took a blood sample when I arrived and afterwards I had to drink they same glucose syrup they have me the first time. They took a blood sample after an hour and another an hour after the second blood work.  Then they released me.

That turned out to be positive and the doctor said that it is possible that it will go away after pregnancy but that in most cases it will come back. In some cases diabetes stays even after pregnancy.

Effect on the baby

There is a chance that the baby will be overweight which will stay even until adulthood.

What now?

An appointment is scheduled for us to meet the endocrinologist and afterwards with the dietician this Wednesday.  So I suppose they will explain to us what we should do and how we cope up with it.

As of now our baby is estimated to weigh 3600gram at the end of 40 weeks and a length around 50 - 75 cm.

Above 4 kilogram would be considered overweight in a baby depending on the height during birth of course. So the doctor assured us that we shouldn't worry about it. Our baby is healthy and is growing beautifully but, I don't want to end up diabetic at all and not even in a later stage of my life...

23 weeks: Oh Canada, Oh Canada

Yesterday we entered our 23rd week of pregnancy.

A colleague of mine just came home from their two-week Canada summer vacation.  And she brought us a lovely present.  It will take a while before the baby gets to wear the romper and socks but my camera will be ready when the time is there!

17 more weeks to go baby! Hang on in there! We still need to prepare a lot of things before you come! 

Our New Pram

I regularly look at the website of Baby dump for some discounts or promotions for items that we will need for our tiny Eskimo and today, they are giving away the complete pram kit of Stokke Crusi with a free winter kit that is worth 279 on top of the free traveling bag that is worth 39.95 euro.  Excited, I called my in-laws and told them about the news as they will be giving the pram as their gift.  My fiance then called me back after his meeting and told me that I can order it already and have it delivered on the second week of December.  So with a few clicks, the new complete set of Stokke Crusi black melange with a cloud grey winter kit and traveling bag is ours and will be delivered in a few months!

We are thankful for the blessings.

21 weeks along

We are all excited and happy that this pregnancy is going well the last months that we decided to do a non-medical 3D ultrasound so we will see our baby in a different way.  They have different packages at Cfor9, we chose the magical journey package that we think suits for us best.  It consists of 4 3D ultrasounds during the last four months of the pregnancy.  That way we get to see an actual image of our baby and see its development in comparison with the previous ultrasounds.  

Sylvie, the owner of Cfor9 took 20 mintues of her time to show us how our baby looks like at 21 weeks.  There was a big flat screen on the wall for my fiance's cinematic effect with lovely background music.  Weighing about 500 grams and approximately 23 cm long, our baby is showing its liveliness.  Kicking back with its foot on my abdominal wall when Sylvie pushed her finger on my tummy.  Our little Eskimo will gain more fat soon along with the further development of its organs so when we go see it again for our next 3D ultrasound, the face will be fuller and more distinct.

My fiance said he hoped the baby will have my nose.  But well, what do we have here???  Do you think it has my tiny Asian nose?

Two days later we went for an anatomical test for the baby.  The doctor looked at its organs, the size of the brain, length of the femur, the heart, stomach, spine, kidneys and so on.  Everything looked perfect and after less than five minutes of scanning, the doctor congratulated us and told us that we are having a healthy baby.  We couldn't be more happy and relieved to hear that.

Finally we got our love its first rocking chair!  Yup the 4moms Mamaroo! :D We are so excited!

19 Weeks: Already Loved

I'm almost halfway and we are still busy looking at things that we want you to have, to welcome you.

Daddy and I already both agreed on your special, unique and meaningful name but that will be a secret to the rest of the world until your birth. 

Your lola &  lolo (grandma and grandpa) and tita Kathleen, tito Niko (aunt and uncle) and baby Elias already bought you their first gifts.

The bib from lola & lolo and the wooden toy is from tita, tito & Elias

I already finalized your baby wishlist and guess what?  Your tita Lotte, tito Uwe and niece Mira were the first to get you something out of the list!  A carseat foot cover to keep your tiny feet warm this winter. 

Meanwhile, your kuya started going back to school and I'm left home alone during the week.  To keep me from being bored, I decided to make you a bib. I am sure you'll need more than five with all the drooling and vomiting that you will do.  I only want to be well prepared and to keep you from getting yourself dirty.

Reversible night owl bib

Your kuya has been kissing my round tummy. Hoping you'd feel his love for you. He promised he'd take good care of you always.  While daddy finds his rest and is very at ease when he gets to rest on my lap, pressing his check on my tummy to feel you move.  

Daddy falling asleep while feeling you move

Do you feel your kuya's love?

Daddy and I already picked your birthcard and giveaways.

Here are a few things of what we are getting you:

Bloom fresco chair suitable from newborn up to 36kg.  We are not getting you that just because it fits better with our furniture or because it is beautiful but you will be sitting on it for seven years, we wanted to give you something that is durable and safe.

A Britax Römer Dualfix carseat for daddy's car.  A carseat that you will be using for seven years as well, again it will be worth the investment.

Your lola and lolo as what I mentioned before will get you the Stokke Crusi complete set that consists of a carry cot and a regular stroller for when your a bit older plus a Izi Sleep carseat for when I have to go somewhere with you by car.

Mamaroo rocking chair to calm you down during your grumpy moments and mommy is doing something like preparing dinner.

Now, what I love about the Bloom chair, Britax Römer, Stokke stroller and the Mamaroo are:

They all have that different (maximum of five) recline position function.  

They give babies utmost safety and comfort.

They've been ranked as one of the best baby gears available in the market.

Not to mention our little one will sleep on an Aerosleep matress which is designed to prevent SIDS, will be watched with a camera baby phone to keep a constant eye on our little one when sleeping and am alarm that goes off when it stops breathing.

Yes, one might think that we are a bit paranoid and scared that something wrong will happen to our baby. Investing a lot of money for something that will not know the value of what it is getting but when spontaneously getting pregnant is not possible for us, we want to do everything we can to make its environment a safe place to live in.

 

Hello 5 Months

We just entered our fifth month and we are all excited!

Our last doctor's visit went really good as well. And yes we know the gender of our baby already but we both decided to keep it a surprise until the baby is there.

I will have to keep my mouth shut from now on. A difficult task but it's a good thing I am in my maternity leave already.

Coming Soon: February 2016

Now on our 15th week, we made the official baby on the way announcement to family, friends and colleagues.

Daddy is on the top and can't wait for you to fill our lives with more joys and love.

He's been lying on my stomach hoping you'd let him feel you by doing your tiny kicks, but I'm afraid it's still too early for him to feel your kung-fu moves.

So this afternoon daddy wondered if he can hear your heart beating with a stethoscope and again it is too early for that as well.

So daddy and I together with your future "kuya"  (big brother) went to a local baby store and got ourselves an AngelSounds® Doppler by Luvion.  Now i can finally share special moments I have with you with the people who loves you the most.  We can finally hear your heart beating whenever we want.  It is music to our hearts listening to you.

Today it did a loud 157 beats per minute!

Loving you much,
Mommy, daddy and kuya

Thumbs up: 12th Week

We are on our last week of the first trimester and everything is going pretty fine with us three + 1!

Prenatal

Now officially in the fetal stage, our bouncy little Eskimo gave not only me but also daddy that reassuring feeling of, "look at me I'm doing just fine! So don't worry about me anymore!" While it wiggles and bounced up and down when our gyne was doing the nuchal test.  The test went well too, measuring at 1.6 mm, looks like we don't have to worry much anymore.  The hemorrhage has dissolved itself as well which is another good news. Crown to romp it measures about 6.9 cm with long slender legs, our little Eskimo is growing beautifully!

Baby listing

We started making our baby list already.  It is somewhat a tradition in here for people to make a list of what they want for gifts when a baby is born. Quite practical and better in my own opinion than receiving items in double or say, "I won't need this at all!"  

Belgian health care services

Every citizen in here has a health care provider and each has their own kind of benefits when it comes to child birth. 

Ours gives 150 euro/parent for the first child and 100 euro for every sibling that follows to be sent on our bank account 

+

100 euro/parent that you can spend on their store to get baby stuff that you might need, from bath capes to strollers and car seats.

+ 

400 euro with of items that you can spend on until your child is 6 years old.

Not only that, we will get around 900+ 3 months before expected delivery date.

And we have a hospitalization insurance from work that pays 80% of our delivery expenses.

Plus!!!

All that and my future in-laws will give us the Stokke Crusi! I feel blessed! ;)

Closing in to our 12th week

I did not see our GP to ask for an ultrasound prescription last week. I am very proud of myself! Anyhow, tomorrow we will be 12 weeks along, almost over the danger zone. This is something we should celebrate!

I can't wait to meet our tiny Eskimo again this Friday.  It is also during this week that our gyne will do the nuchal test.  An ultrasound test to identify if the fetus has any chromosomal disorder including down syndrome. If positive (we hope not though!), we have the option to have a blood test done. The downside to this blood test is that it is pricy (400 - 500 euro) and it is not covered by our   insurance policy, none in Belgium does at the moment. But if that tested positive as well, a chorionic villus sampling is highly advised.  Unless we decide to take all risks and just leave it as it is. The third test is the last option because although it gives the most accurate result, a higher rate of miscarriage is present.  Knowing us, we both do not want to take any risk of having a mentally handicapped child, so it isn't really a dilemma for us.  But still as of the moment, we are staying positive.

Already spoiled
It is not there yet and daddy is spoilling it already.  Today we got it its very first gift, a pair of Timberland's.  Yay! Daddy is ecstatic!  Both the little man and I will get our own pair once or tiny Eskimo is there (daddy already has his own pair of Timberland's).

Unisex Timberland

Very Pregnant

I somehow can't hide my growing abdomen anymore and I thought the tiredness is better but I was wrong.  Nausea is better though but not the cramping.  Sometimes my abdomen feels like exploding (literally) but it is just filled with gas--smelly ones for that matter.  I ease it by lying down and of course by letting out some smelly air. 

I have bought a lot of maternity outfit already because I want to be well-dressed and fashionable but they didn't all cost that much which is a relief.

I am experiencing pregnancy in a whole new different way and I am loving every moment of it now.

Fragile jumpsuit

10 Weeks & Betting On A Girl

Our last appointment with the gyne last Thursday went well, although the hematoma is still percent at a very much the same size as the previous week, she said it might be something that will stay throughout my pregnancy.  I still have to be cautious at all times but since bleeding did not occur anymore and the baby is growing and developing as it should, she said that it was not necessary to come back next week but to wait for our next appointment with our own gyne which is in two weeks.

So we drove back home and I realized that two weeks is actually a long wait for me not to see our baby. Panicked, I told my fiance that I will call for an appointment again. Doctors know better, he said. I am not really convinced but at this point, somehow I think he's right.  So here I am trying to count down days again.

Girl or boy?
Both my boys and I prefer to have a baby girl and I have this strong feeling everyday that I am having one! Is it maybe because I really want it badly? Hmm, perhaps. But here's something about me, I never really consider myself beautiful nor womanly-like. My fiance told me countless times that I am and that of course gives me a good feeling but not too the extent of me actually believing that I am pretty our beautiful, until now.  I am loving my long hair and the fact that it is black (I used to color it brown) doesn't bother me anymore and nor does my tiny Asian flat nose (lol).

Betting on a girl?

Our Grape-size Eskimo

Counting from the day of our five day embryo transplant, our due date would have been on the 30th of January. However, after our first ultrasound it showed that our new due date is on the 4th of February. So we are back to 9 weeks instead of 10 and now about the size of a grape, she or he is starting to look more like a human than an alien and the embryonic tail is completely gone by this time.  Its heart is starting to divide in chambers and its teeth are starting to grow from under its gums as well. Lots of changes are going on and in the coming months its tiny organs will develop and function better as it grows.

Gender
My soon to be farther-in-law said that he knows what our baby will be like. He said he apparently dreamt about it but he won't tell us until the baby is there.  Both my fiance and I want a girl and even our little man wants a girl as well.

"I want to have a baby sister so she won't bother me when I'm doing something."

So, will we have a girl or not? I feel like we are going to have a baby girl though, but despite the gender, as long as we will carry out a full term pregnancy and that the baby is healthy, that is for us what matters the most.

Scepticism

Although we are sceptical about how things will go with us, we or I most especially still tries hard to think and believe for things to go right.  I cheer me up by looking necessary baby stuff that we will need when the baby is finally there.

Messy home

Our home is getting messier by the day while the clothes to be ironed are piling up.  I registered to two home cleaning services already and so far we did not receive any reply from both of them yet.  

Home cleaning services in here costs about 9 euro per hour with government subsidies because it originally costs more and we will get 30% income tax return at the end of the year. How great is that? I get to spend more of my precious free time with my family.

Vacation
We booked our sunny summer destination already last March. But because of the hematoma, the doctor has still yet to decide if it is safe for me to fly or not.  We all look forward to it so the little man will be very disappointed if we won't be able to fly.

Thursday
Three more days after today and we get to see our tiny Eskimo again. I hope everything is okay with it still.

Monthly To Weekly

We are glad to know that all is well at the moment with our tiny Eskimo!  Though it is still considered at a pre-miscarriage stage, the fetus' evolution is remarkably good on the other hand.  I get to see it bounce sideways and we get to hear its heart beating again for the second time.  It has grown from 2cm to 2,15 cm since our last scan and its limbs are more visible this time as well.  However the hematoma that the doctor saw last Saturday is not noticeably diminishing at all, from 20 x 11mm now to 20 x 10 mm.  We can say that at least it's not spreading, perhaps, but how to fully get rid of it?

If the hematoma will spread out all the way to the top, the placenta will come loose and a miscarriage will follow.  It is a horrifying thought and I know I should not think about it that way.  But the doctor was honest with us and no one can predict how things will go with our pregnancy.  We can only hope that everything will turn out just fine and that in about 7 months, we will give birth to a beautifully healthy baby.  I can only try to stay calm and not do anything at home although my hands itch to start sweeping, mopping and dusting our little home.

Luckily there are people understanding enough to know how much we want this baby in our lives and advised me to be on leave for as long as necessary.

As of the moment a weekly check-up is more than necessary to follow-up the evolution of the hematoma.  This way we will both be reassured and we get to see our growing Eskimo on a weekly basis.  Otherwise, I will be marching down to my GP's practice once a week for an ultrasound prescription at a local clinic.

I Stopped Feeling Pregnant

I wake up and first thing I check is how my body is doing.  Is my bloated bump getting rounder and rounder? Are my breasts fuller than before? More to a close physical self checkup, I also check about how my psyche is.

Today I woke and I realized I stopped feeling pregnant. I noticed I stopped feeling really thirsty as well.  My breasts stopped feeling sore and my abdomen is less bloated and where did the cramping go?  Worse, I totally don't feel I am pregnant at all!

I wonder if this is a sign that I will miscarry our little Eskimo.  So I sent my fiance a worried message...

He's right, as long as I don't have and blood loss, I should try to think positively.

We are able to schedule an earlier appointment with the gyn to check the evolution of the hematoma on Thursday. Until then I will have to hang on.

Hoping for a favorable result.

Subchorionic Hematoma

27 June

At around 2 am I had to cough really hard and I felt like a gush of pain on my lower left abdomen. The cramps continued the whole morning (through out the dat in fact) and I was sleepless. 

Birthday party

The little man's girlfriend turned seven and he was invited. We dropped him off and her mom congratulated us with the baby. The little man had been telling everyone that he is going to be a kuya (big brother) soon.

Beach

We headed off to the beach after dropping him off at his girlfriend's. I was hungry and we stopped at Nelson's for what we first thought of having--pancakes.

I had shrimp croquettes with bananas milkshake (not really a good match) and my better half had  some croque monsieur and a bottle of sparkling Perrier.

I went to the toilet because I was still cramping and I thought I had to let out a wind.  While I was getting myself dry, the toilet paper was covered in blood.  Panicked, we rushed straight to the ER.

ER

The doctor came and yup she confirmed that there is a subchorionic hematoma in my uterus.  Although small (20x11mm) the danger is present that we are going to lose our precious angel.  She said 1 out of 2 it will turn out to be a miscarriage if the bleeding will not stop. 

She advised for me to refrain from any strenuous activities like lifting heavy stuff, cleaning, reaching up for something, etc. She also advised me not to go to work anymore, no coitus until we are past the first trimester.

So not even a 24 hour of joy, we are again faced with horror.  I haven't had any blood loss since then which I think is a relief. An earlier appointment with the gyne was also advised.

Our Love At First Sight

26 June 2015
I feel almost exactly the same way as when I first met my fiance --really nervous. Thinking if it's still there, how many are exactly in there, are they growing and developing beautifully?  I have a lot of things in my mind but luckily my son's TV casting got me occupied first thing in the morning.

Antwerp
I planned on going to the agent's place by train but since my fiance is so sweet, he drove us there and even get to see what the little man had to do.
It is about an hour drive without getting stuck in traffic and we got lucky!
The little man had to stand before the camera and perform some emotions, like being sad and feeling sorry, be happy and contented, thrilled and the feeling of ecstatic happiness.  It took about half an hour or maybe less.

My fiance had to work for a bit while we get to window shop for some baby stuff.

Which afterwards we had lunch at Ikea and drive back home.

Parent-teacher meeting
At three we drove to his school for our appointment.  The school year is about to end again and the little man gets his final report card.  There were no further complaints about him and he did a really good performance in class. Except that he should learn to trust himself and be confident in the things that he can do.  We are proud of him!  Shortly after we headed to the hospital.

First meeting
We were a bit early when we arrived at the hospital.  When it was our turn (which did not even took us more than an hour of waiting), the doctor shook or hands and welcomed us in his office.  He asked a few things like if I feel any symptoms and I informed him about the cramps, nausea and the cravings.  The ultrasound then followed.

We started out with two embryos. The other just stopped growing (an empty sack can be seen in the ultrasound) while the other is growing beautifully! Yup! One healthy Eskimo is growing in my tummy right now!  The doctor said that the body will eliminate the undeveloped embryo by itself so we should not worry about it.

We get to hear its heartbeat and it was such a precious moment for both of us. Daddy went emotional and we both felt relieved when we saw our tiny Eskimo that is now about 2 centimeter big with a proportionally huge head and tiny growing limbs.

This is it, or little miracle happening inside of me.

We are thankful to both or families who lighted candles for us and helped us pray. Thankful for our colleagues and friends who wished and hoped the best for us in our ICSI journey for our hearts' desire has been granted.

Eight Weeks & Six Days Prego

I am almost 9 weeks along now.  So far my tummy has almost doubled the size since two weeks ago.  It started sinking in last Monday when I was out on a triple date with my colleagues that I am indeed pregnant!  I pampered myself with a nice Moroccan mint tea for breakfast at one of my favorite place to hang out.

Shopping
What do girls love to do the most?  Yup! And after trying more than 6 maternity outfits, I purchased 2 nicely fitted outfit for me.  1 black jumpsuit with a golden ribbon belt, a matching golden purse, black shawl and black with golden accent bracelets and 1 halter dress with a cute palm tree prints on it. It was a good bargain though since I received a 50% discount on all items except for the golden purse but meh, I love it.  I just need a new pair of shoes to go with my jumpsuit and I'll be all set! Yay!!

Then we had lunch and talked for a bit.

Fragile Jumpsuit

Bad picture

The woman inserted a pillow in the dress to show how I will look like when I'm 7 months along

Friday
Tomorrow will be quite a busy day for us.  I will first want to take our little man for a TV casting first thing in the morning then go back to his school for his parent-teacher meeting and then at 5 we have to be at the hospital for our most awaited very first ultrasound!!!  Although I am still worried that the doctor will say there is no baby growing at all in my womb.  My fiance tried to make me feel better by telling me, I would have had blood loss already if something went wrong and maybe he's right.  But I cannot exclude any odd possibilities to happen to me because i have been told of scenarios that are far too impossible to happen but did happen to me anyway.

Symptoms
Lately I have been burping and I am someone who doesn't really know how to burp voluntarily.
I still have cramps and I wonder if it will ever stop? Hmm...  I can only hope so I suppose?
I feel like nauseated lately.  No specific moment of the day though, it just comes whenever.
I am more tired than ever and having a good night sleep seems to be very difficult for me.  Worries just crosses my mind during wee hours of the night.
Strong cravings on some food like mangoes, KFC, seafoods and other things.
Stronger sense of smell and taste.  I would feel like vomiting if I will have a small chopped onion in my mouth.  Eew, the thought of it alone.

7 Gestational Week

Our last quantitative beta has more than doubled than the previous week. The progesterone level is at 30 which is good as well. We are happy. Based on the blood tests, our Eskimos are growing well and that should make me feel better and it does. However, I will only be certain that everything is all and well once we go for our first ultrasound and see the first heartbeats.

At 7 gestational week our Eskimos are admit the size on a blueberry (half of an inch) tiny fingers and feet that look more like a paddle start to develop.  It is kind of exciting to follow up the weekly growth of our Eskimos. :)

PANIC:
I sneezed and it hurt my lower right abdomen. Should I panic? I'm trying not to since I've been cramping from day 1. Still it worries me. If only I can rush myself to the ER everytime I feel something so they can have a close monitor on our growing Eskimos. Will make me feel a lot better.

Maternity outfit

Add caption

I bought my first maternity pants yesterday at H&M since I don't fit in my regulars anymore.  Our first prenatal won't be until the 26th of this month but I already have a feeling we are going to have a twins.  Why? Hcg level is spiking up, my tummy?? It seems as if I'm six months prego already when we are just approaching our seventh week!  But still the solid proof won't be until we see how many hearts are beating during our first ultrasound.  I'm kind of excited really!

CRAMPING:
It is still there, some days worse than the others, but I ease it by lying flat on my back and taking things easy.

VISIT WORK:
I dropped by at work this morning and I am glad I get to see my colleagues for a bit.  My headnurse said I should just take it easy and enjoy my pregnancy, but really how do I do that? When my mind is filled with things to worry about.  I'm a Scorpio (I don't know if it has anything to do about it) so I'm a natural pessimist.

RAGING HORMONES:
Apart from feeling dizzy ones in a while and feeling nauseated but not to the point of vomiting yet, I noticed that I am easily agitated and feel offended whenever my fiance tells me something.  I do apologize when I realize that my reactions are not necessary and appropriate at all. He is trying to understand but I bet I am not making it any easier for him.

CRAVING:
Oh I have been craving for a lot of things! Luckily my cravings are mostly those that are easy to find! Imagine if I will crave for "lechon" ( roasted pig)! Where will my fiance ever get me one? Lol. Yesterday I craved for fish. I ate eight slices of bread with smoked salmon, shrimps tomatoes and eggs! Despite the fact that I don't like eating bread! Lol.

Baby bump or bloating bump at 6 weeks and 5 days

THE BUMP:
I have noticed that my abdomen is just growing tremendously fast.  It's getting rounder and rounder by the week.  It cannot be a baby bump yet as our quarter inches babies are still located about five fingers below my navel (more or less).  So this is more likely a bloating bump that is caused by the progesterone suppository that I still have to take 3 times a day.  Only doctors know how long I have to take this medicine.  But I wonder if the bloating remains, will  my bump be twice as big later when I am a few months further?

Fourth Beta At 5 Weeks & Currently At 6 Week

Our bloodwork results at 5 weeks is 11877 Hcg.  We are very much happy with it, the hormones are just growing and growing.  However we are going to have another bloodwork done this week.

We are currently on our  6th week gestational period.  It is about the size of a lentil, that is about a quarter of an inch long.  Major developments for this week are, the nose, mouth and ears start taking shape.  The head of the fetus is oversize with dark spots where the eyes are starting to form.  Protruding buds will then later develop into arms and legs.  Heart starts beating at a 100 to 160 beats per minute.  We are thinking of getting our own Doppler so we can witness and hear the beating of their hearts firsthand.  But I am hesitant because I am scared to not be able to hear anything at all and will just leave me in more fear and worries than I already am this time.

I suppose experiencing pregnancy right from the start is a lot different than knowing it months after like our little man.  I am more anxious, nervous and worried more than being happy and contented that it worked this time.

Baby Sleep

A baby needs to sleep on its own.  It is important for us for it to have their own room, this is the first stage of independence.  I personally grew up along with my two other siblings sleeping in my parents room.  It did not bother me to be sleeping at the foot-end of the bed at all until I had my own room and my own privacy (at the age of 12).  I realized the luxury of it.

A baby's should have a comfortable sleeping bed that is safe for it.  That includes, a baby phone with built in camera for continuous access with the baby with an alarm in case the baby stops moving or breathing (all to preveng SIDS), breathable mattress,  safe environment temperature to sleep in and the list can go on.

We are living in a two-storey three bedroom house.  The extra room is currently being used as our office and my closet is in there as well.  There is still enough space for two cots, sure and maybe a closet for the babies.  But I thought babies cry a lot at night that I was thinking of getting a hammock instead of just an ordinary cot.  I have been looking at Hushamock's products even before we thought of having a baby.  As a baby we slept in a hammock.  It was basically just a piece of blanket tied on both ends that is suspended on the ceiling.  I think everyone in the family slept that way as a baby and I would want that for our babies-to-be.  Our little ones get to sleep in a most natural way, mimicking the environment and movements in the womb.  I especially love the beautiful design to it and I don't have to suspend it on to the ceiling and everything is made out of natural material (organic and undyed cotton and natural wood) but the down side to it is, not only that it comes with an expensive price tag (one complete set costs $599) is that it occupies a lot of space.  The swaying and rocking of the baby to put it to sleep has to be done by someone.  The baby is not fastened to it's mattress so when the baby gets older and it starts rolling, there is a bigger chance that it might fall out, like I did (they often find me on the floor insted).  It is not very practical for a regular family but if we lived in a much spacious four bedroom house, I might reconsider.

2012 Model at €189

2015 Model at €299

My fiance mentioned a MamaRoo.  It does not ressemble a traditional hammock but it does in my opinion offer a better comfort to both parents and babies.  It sways and rocks in different preset motions by itself, giving babies that same safe feeling as to when they were in mommy's tummy.  The 2012 model sways continuously and comes at a way cheaper price since it's an older version while the 2015 model is a bit more expensive but still way cheaper than a hushamock automatically goes off after 4 hours of continuous use.  For both versions the seat can be reclined at a certain level and there are 4 different motions prinstalled to it: car, kangaroo, swing, rock and sea motion.  It has preset music with adjustable volume but it is also aux integrated so you can play any desired music that you would want your baby to hear from your mp3 player or smartphones.  The newer model has bluetooth that allows you to control it via an app.  But according to reviews, the app works better on an Apple rather than an Android.  It does not require much space and the baby stays in its supine position.  I think a baby can sleep on it for a year before sleeping on a regular bed.  I don't know which mode but we are thinking of getting this for our little Eskimos.

Baby camera

As sleep is not only import for a baby's growth and development, it is as much important to both parents as well.  But these days when babies are sleeping in their room, parents need to keep constant watch on their baby even when they're doing some household chores, thus the the need of baby phones arise.  Before it was just like a walkie-talkie kind of phone, parents hear the baby's breathing, movements and sounds on the other end all the time.  Parents can talk to their children as well.  Lately new models come with built in camera!  So the ones with a camera is what we are getting for sure.  Which type, brand or model is still uncertain but we are looking it up thoroughly.

Third Beta & Healthy Pregnancy Tips

The results of our third beta arrived. HCG went up from 414 to 1477 and the estrogen and progesterone levels are good as well.

But since I had a bad heavy cramp last Sunday and yesterday, I just stayed in bed most of the time. Worrying about our babies. I called the hospital again which she said "het is normal e. Jouw lichaam is aan het voorbereiden voor de zwangerschap."  It is normal and according to her it is the body preparing itself for the pregnancy. But I did not take her word for it. I don't remember being in pain during this term with my first.  Does everything have to hurt from now on? I am getting mentally stressed and worn out.

Here are some healthy pregnancy tips:

1. Getting an early prenatal appointment with the doctor. I am halfway through my fifth week. I have to go back next week for a blood work and at the same time make an appointment with the gyn. Which will not be until two weeks later from then on (by then I'll be 8 weeks along) is that late or early? I don't know. All I know is, I was past the first trimester when I found out I was pregnant with the little man. But then again, this isn't a normal pregnancy at all. I have been freaking out starting with our first cycle until this very moment. So yes! I would want an ultrasound asap and see if everything is okay and normal and hear their first heartbeats if there are two of them.

2. Take your prenatal vitamins.  I do this. My fiance double checks it everyday because I forget it quite too often.

3. Consult the medications you are taking regularly.  As for me, I have bronchiectasis. A disease with a permanent enlargement of parts of the airway of the lungs, in my case my right lung. Which I take inhalers and cortisone when I have excessive production of mucus and when I have breathing problems.  I usually take three different inhalers and a cortisone tablet. But I cut down to just one inhaler per day enough for me to breath 'okay' on adaily basis. Coughing happens all the time with thick phlegms but I am trying to live with it. Cortisone is not good for the embryo and is not good during the implantation stage.

4. Stop smoking. I don't smoke.

5. Stop drinking alcohol. I don't drink any alcoholic beverages as well unless there is a special occasion. I will not miss it for the next nine months or so.

6.  Make sure home and work are safe-free for the mom and the baby.  My physician advised me to stay home until the 15th to see how it goes with me and whether or not I am ready to go back to work again.  So that is something I don't have to worry as of the moment and our home is clean. Both my fiance and I don't smoke and neither of us drink any alcoholic beverages nor do any recreational drugs.

I can pretty much say that my body is a safe haven for our little Eskimos to grow.

I hope they'll grow and develop just fine.

5th Week

Yesterday we entered our 5th week of pregnancy or about 244 days to go according to my pregnancy calculator.  During this week, our Eskimos-to-be are about the size of a sesame see and they look more like a tiny tadpole than a human.  It is made up in three layers which will later transform into vital parts and organs of a human being.

Still, everything can happen to these tiny creatures that are occupying me at the moment.  I don't want to think about it but I cannot exclude all the dangers that might happen to it.  The first trimester is said to be the most crucial phase in an embryo's life.

My fiance's mom grilled some bbq meat for dinner yesterday including salmon and she even baked fried rice for me (she called and asked me how to do it).  I really appreciate and I am very grateful for the thoughtful gestures and attentiveness.  If there is one thing I can exclude that might harm our little angels that would be toxoplamosis.

Still, last night I dreamt I miscarried the babies--horrible!  I went to the livingroom, took a HPT and tested myself.  It tested positive so I was more than relieved.  But now while I am engorged with my studying, I feel some pulsating sensation on my right lower abdomen and a cramp feeling which I had last week even when I am just passively sitting on our office chair.  I am afraid if something has happened to the uterine lining or to our little Eskimos.  I am petrified of the thought that I will miscarry them!  That and my fiance dreamt of something similar last night as well.

Seconden Beta

Our second beta was 414 at 4 weeks and 4 days.  Numbers have more than doubled.  I have a doubling time of 1.4 days which is not that bad.

I wonder if we will have twins or not. I can't wait for our first ultrasound.

Right now I'm still ubberly tired most of the time, I'm down with my asthma and I tried doing light work at home but my lower abdomen started hurting after a while... So I guess it's not worth the risk to go back to work yet. :(

But for the rest, I'm still in cloud nine! I can't believe I'm pregnant! It is a miracle!

11 Days Past Our 5 Day Eskimo Transfer

I know we tested positive already last week but still, it is reassuring to know that our (hopefully there's two of them) Eskimos are still growing in my uterus.  Now it's not just a faint second line anymore but a vivid one.

I will know my second beta result this afternoon.  I am hoping for a much higher number.

I am feeling more tired lately. The cramps have eased out so I think that's positive.  But I still avoid lifting things.  I am mostly resting at home and trying to get used to this new job description I have: Laziness.  My abdomen is still bloated but it's better as well.  I think the progesterone is causing this bloatedness but, I shouldn't complain after all a positive result is a positive result right?

Thankful for the baby dusts!  Hoping our little Eskimos are developing normally.

Beta Levels

Today is the tenth day past our first beta positive.  At three weeks our beta is 35. Now I wonder if that's a poor number or not. It first made me think that it might be possible to have a negative beta on our second blood test, which I hope it won't.

When I called my fertility clinic to inform them about the BFP they said I should have one done on the required date again. I asked what the normal HCG level at three weeks should be. And she replied the amount of HCG in my blood corresponds to what is normal.  However it is not the numbers that is important but rather the number should double itself every 2 - 3 days to see a normal development of the fetus.

If that's the case, I'm hoping that mine will be around 140 tomorrow.

Our candle from the lady of Banneux is still burning.  My future in-laws went to Scherpenheuvel yesterday to light another candle for us.  I know a lot of people are not as religious as before but I feel really glad some people are praying for us and wishing some baby dusts to come our way.

To Abstain: An IVF mythe Or Not?

 Doctors did not really mention that we should abstain however they did not mention that  going for a swim and going to the sauna is a no no either until I asked them.  So I guess googling for more information is not really that bad.

I have read that it is best to abstain until we see the first heartbeat through ultrasound.

It is has been nine days past our blastocyst transfer and I have calmed down a bit and stopped taking HPT twice a day.  Although now I keep on wondering if our two little Eskimos are still in my uterus and if they're growing beautifully together. This waiting game is a pain in the butt.

Also, I still have cramps which I spend my days lying on the couch lately. I'm really getting bored of this but I will have to endure.  At least now we have something to look forward to.

Monday is a holiday and my GP is on leave, I will have to wait until Tuesday for another blood test to see if my HCG has more than doubled since last Thursday. I can only hope so.

The Embryo After IVF Transfer

According to my findings this is what happens to the embryo in the uteeus after an IVF transfer:

3 day old embryo

Day 1:
The embryo continues to grow and develop, turning from a 6-8 cell embryo into a morula

Day 2:
The cells of the morula continue to divide, developing into a blastocyst 

Day 3:
The blastocyst begins to hatch out of its shell 

Day 4:
The blastocyst continues to hatch out of its shell and begins to attach itself to the uterus 

Day 5:
The blastocyst attaches deeper into the uterine lining, beginning implantation 

Day 6:
Implantation continues

Day 7:
Implantation is complete, cells that will eventually become the placenta and fetus have begun to develop 

Day 8:
Human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG) starts to enter the blood stream 

Day 9:
Fetal development continues and hCG continues to be secreted 

Day 10:
Fetal development continues and hCG continues to be secreted   

Day 11:
Levels of hCG are now high enough to detect a pregnancy 

5 day old blastocyst

Day 1:
The blastocyst begins to hatch out of its shell

Day 2:
The blastocyst continues to hatch out of its shell and begins to attach itself to the uterus 

Day 3:
The blastocyst attaches deeper into the uterine lining, beginning implantation 

Day 4:
Implantation continues 

Day 5:
Implantation is complete, cells that will eventually become the placenta and fetus have begun to develop 

Day 6:
Human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG) starts to enter the blood stream 

Day 7:
Fetal development continues and hCG continues to be secreted 

Day 8:
Fetal development continues and hCG continues to be secreted 

Day 9:
Levels of hCG are now high enough to detect a pregnancy

SYMPTOMS
I'm more dizzy and I drink a lot more than before. 
My stomach still looks like it's a 4 month old baby bump when in fact I am just 8 days past transfer.

EVERYONE KNOWS
Yup, I think it is better for everyone to know.  

BFP

I couldn't wait any longer. After all this time and all the cycles we underwent, I just couldn't wait any longer. So I went to my GP's practice and showed him my second HPT.

He agreed to take a blood test to make a conclusion out of it.

Just before midnight I received an email from him--yes! A BFP it was!  I can't keep it any longer so I went upstairs, asked my fiance if we can talk.

I just took out the test and he asked what it meant, I told him it's a positive.  I showed him the blood test and he was really happy taking me, "be very extra careful from now on, baby please!"

So we are having a baby! Now to let it stay in there. Up to the next three months!

Vivid at 16:22

I still can't stop thinking about the second faint pink line result from the rest I took this morning.  Does it mean it's a BFP? Or is it just my eyes and mind paying tricks on me?  Are our little Eskimos really alive and growing in me or will the pink line just disappear after a while?  Questions started flooding my mind and I started surfing and reading about other people's experiences with faint pink lines on their HPTs.  I was jumpy, I told myself to calm down.  I picked up the phone and called our GP. He said it will still be too early to rely on that.  I still want early blood test done.

I thought of waiting until tomorrow to test again. I thought... Because by the moment I came downstairs, I took another HPT and tested again.

Guys what? A more vivid second pink line!

Are we getting a BFP???

6dp5fet

Today is the sixfth day past our frozen Eskimo transfer.  I took a test again. But is that a second faint pink line I'm seeing?

I just looked at Google images and saw that there are people who lined up hpt results from as early as day 2 past transfer and ended with a positive result. I thought, "why haven't I thought of that?"

DO I BELIEVE IN MIRACLES?

Last night just before we went to sleep, my fiance asked me if I believe in miracles. "Such a difficult question", I admitted to him.

I mentioned that right after the transfer, he took me to Banneux.  It is supposed to be a holy ground since the virgin mary appeared to an ordinary girl seven times (Story here).  Although I find it even more hard to believe because everything is commercialized in there. Just outside the holy ground, bottle containers are being sold so one can collect water from the fountain and faucet. It has been said that the water can heal illnesses.  Candles are extremely expensive in my opinion but I understand that they have to be made as well.

Nevertheless, we lit a candle ourselves in the chapel and bought two 9 day novena candle at home and a bottle of water.  My fiance believes in miracles, so who am I to say miracles doesn't exist? Besides it doesn't hurt to have a little faith.

So I told my fiance, if miracles do exist, then let this be our little miracle.  I am moved by the amount of moral support that we get from our family, friends and colleagues.

I will test again tomorrow and see if the pink line is somewhat vivid than that of today.

Still wishing and praying for some baby dust in here.